If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me "what are you doing in Mississippi?", I would probably have enough money to at least pay off my debts in my student account. I guess in many ways people see a bigger reason to ask me why I traveled 1,204.57 miles to come to school, and honestly sometimes I ask myself why did I spend a whole day from airport to airport to be stuck on some campus with no one to relate or talk to. Overall there are many colleges/universities in the United States and I could have easily just have gone to one closer to home, which by the way is Brooklyn, New York. So honestly what am I doing here in Mississippi College?
That question made it's presence known my first night in Hederman Dorm 330. I grew up in a very warm environment, my parents have always cultivated in me a sense of family togetherness, so the day I had to say my goodbyes it was extremely sad, and although no one cried the scent of despair was in the air. I have always been a very independent person and I wasn't expecting my goodbyes to be so hard, but I tackled the feeling of loneliness with that of confidence and positivity. Once in Mississippi College I fell into a depression. I felt alone, I pretty much was alone, and I was ready to board the first airplane back home, but I have never really been the one to give up. I knew I had to be strong and even though I looked happy to be in school and ready to do my best I was torn.
I had to learn how to deal with this new found feeling. The only way I figured I could deal with this was to shield myself with my new friends and by going to church and praying. I felt comfort from the people in MC who were very supportive. I felt comfortable here and after a while it started feeling like home. I know it's played out to say things just felt right, but they did. So this goes back to the infamous question "what are you doing in Mississippi College?", and the answer is I don't know. Maybe it was the feeling of peace I got when I first toured this campus, or the fact that I'm beginning to call this place home, But I know that whatever the reason may be I'm happy to form a part of MC.
3 comments:
I appreciate your insightful, open, honest reflections of yourself, I, although no authority, am impressed. I realize it must be a huge 'culture shock' from Fifth Avenue to Highway Eighty, from cabs to camo, from Subway rail to Subway sandwiches (although, I'm sure you have those up there), from Northern talking to Southern drawl, and from business suits to crocs and khaki cargo shorts. MC, as I am sure you already have found, has a familial quality quite uncommon to most any other place I have had the chance to experience. If you have problems adjusting, just remember you are not alone. One of the beautiful things about MC is that you can talk to anyone, just introduce yourself and fire away, all of the people that I have met are willing to listen, and will offer advice from the heart.
I think it shows your character to say that you're not sure why you're here. And it must be tough being so far away. But as encouragement, when you're in hard places, you tend to grow or develop as person more. You have to make a lot of decisions on your own and figure out who you are and what you stand for. And I think that's part of the purpose of college. So hopefully knowing that this experience is growing you is encourageing!
I have a classmate from my hometown of Tupelo, MS who was in my graduating class who chose to go all the way to Seattle, Washington for college. I'm sure he's finding himself in a similar situation that you no doubt are in. Though I may never know why or how he ended up there in the first place, that won't be as important as the things he'll learn or the people he'll meet by being in a different "culture" so to speak. Life is funny sometimes like that but in the end it is so worth it.
~Katybeth Martin
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