follies

I cannot begin to explain how happy I am that follies is over. I have been going through sleepless nights because of that and now i can finally lay back, relax, and take a ride. But I'm going to have to admit that getting ready for follies was a lot of fun. I enjoyed getting together and going through the same song over and over again. In a way it took me back to my high school days in Brooklyn when i was on the dance team, and how we had to practice over and over again just to get one little insignificant move down. But when the time came to display what you had learned at practice you felt great because that one little move you perfected made it a great show. Everyone did great that night, they showed off in more ways than one, and I have never realized how creative the tribes and social groups were until Friday night. But I still feel it was sort of messed up laguna got disqualified for going over 10 minutes (or at least that's the rumor), either way we had fun doing it and in our minds we're number 1!!!

stress

I work better when I'm under stress but this is ridiculous. I had to study for mid-terms, write papers, and do the whole follies thing, but I guess that's my "welcome to college" gift. For some reason I feel as though I can't think straight right now, my mind is just drifting away to some unknown place, which is not cool. This was suppose to be my "chill" week, but that didn't happen, and on top of that there is other entities that don't involve school stressing me out too. But on a lihgter note I'm very excited about follies, even though I have a 4 hour practice today. Overall this college life is pretty cool, in all seriousness I love it. The freedom, the feeling of adulthood even though your still dependant on certain things. It gives you a taste of what you might expect afterwards, minus paying the bills, in my case. I can't wait to see what might come next, it makes me really excited, including the stress and all. :-)

Freddy

When I talk to people about how I am home sick and how much I would like to go home the first thing they think about is that i miss my bed, my personal belongings, my friends, but in all honesty I could care less about those things. In reality I'm not home sick, I like school, I like being in Mississippi, but there is one thing I do miss more than anything in the world, and that one thing is Freddy. You never really pay attention to things until they are not there anymore, and even though I have always cherished Freddy, I never really payed attention to the little things he would do for me. There's nothing like coming home to a loud "I missed you", and a warm hug. Some one that tries to understand you and make you feel better about everything, some one that hurts when you hurt if not more. And even though your job is to be responsible and teach them whats right and wrong, they end up teaching you. An older siblings job is to be strong and put on a good example for your younger sibling, but even though I'm putting on a good example for Freddy I feel as though I'm very weak. I never thought that I would miss him so much to the point of breaking down, and I never thought he will miss me as much as I miss him. I would pretty much do anything to at least see him for an hour. I have missed his first soccer game, from what I hear he got braces and is now an inch taller, even though these things seem so small it hurts knowing that I wasn't part of them. I have missed two months of his life and it feels like I have nothing to show for it. We are half way done with this semester, so I can stick out the other half. But, I cant wait to see Freddy again.

I have heard God leads you in different directions for a reason. Some are good some are bad, and sometimes we forget that there is always a deeper meaning to things. For example if you would have told me I would be living in Mississippi a year from now, I would have laughed and turned away-but I'm here now-it's just funny how things work. If I would have never come here I would have never met some of the greatest people ever, and yes I'm talking about you Emily (hahaha). But besides that I have gotten connected to my faith, when I was back at home I must admit that I disconnected myself from my beliefs. I did things I may not be proud of, but my motto has always been never regret, because at the moment that was exactly what you wanted. Overall I'm thrilled to form part of this school, I never thought I would feel so at home here. I'm really excited that I have found people I can relate to and that I have gotten in touch with not only myself but God. I now know I made the best choice by coming to this school, and even though my semester started out rough, I'm now finding the deeper meaning of this experience.